Dear Chat: The Golf Widow

Unqualified advice for modern life

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Email: lakebluffchat@gmail.com

DEAR CHAT,

My husband disappeared sometime around Memorial Day in a pastel floral shirt and salmon-toned shorts and insisted he needed a “transfusion.” Since then, he’s only occasionally returned home, referring to a “handicap.” Is any of this normal?

Confused and Concerned,

Golf Widow

DEAR GOLF WIDOW,

Lake Bluff enters its own seasonal migration pattern every summer. Men disappear before sunrise and return 6–8 hours later claiming to have “played terribly” despite appearing extremely relaxed and borderline euphoric.

Experts recommend allowing them to tell the entire story, including detailed descriptions of holes 7, 12 and 16, whether or not you asked.

In the meantime, try joining a weekly six-hour mahjong game. If one doesn’t exist, start one.

Sincerely,

Chat